OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
