Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize