Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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