I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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