why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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