thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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