it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
