Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
