Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
