I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
