Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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