Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
