i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?