Having a random hookup so left but love u
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.