apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
