Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl