i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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