there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
