He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO