Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK

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(705): View more from Ontario

Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(910): View more from North Carolina

the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.

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(214): View more from Texas

I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....

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(248): View more from Michigan

You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss

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