May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?