i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
