theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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