i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
