you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Randomize
