We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck me I smell like cheese
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
