guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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