Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
