so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
