It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
