Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
