Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
COCAINE IS GR8
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
