Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
