apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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