10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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