Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize