I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
