the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
