how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
