Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..