So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.