kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
