By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
