You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
