He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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