i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
