hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
