so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
