What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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