He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
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I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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