I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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