i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
