the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize