it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
