i permit you to call me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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