he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
