Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
