my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
