Yo dont text me then not text me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
