youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
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i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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