is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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