I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
barbara walters just said penis...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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