This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
