Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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