And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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