brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
