If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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