Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
