I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
