epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
