I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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