i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize