no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
it was like eating out sand paper
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
