This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
